tosh: toe-shh (n. adj. adv. v.) Any positive definition imaginable.

Category Archives: Posts by J. Coco

Darcis on left, Nadal on right.

Rafael Nadal lost today at Wimbledon in a shocking upset by Belgium’s Steve Darcis. Nadal was defeated in straight sets, making this match one of the biggest tennis upsets in history. Nadal is ranked 5th in the world, while Darcis is ranked 135th.

Nadal recently recovered from a knee injury, playing his first match on grass today since the injury. His lack of playing time on grass coupled with his knee issues could have affected his playing ability, but when asked about it, Nadal downplayed those excuses and instead emphasized the great ability of his opponent. Darcis has claimed other upsets over time, including one against Tomas Berdych in the first round of the London Olympics last summer.

However, Nadal hasn’t completely lost his tennis touch because he recently broke his own record at the French Open, winning it eight times. He also played in this tournament with the same knee injury that hindered him today.

This event echoes Nadal’s defeat in the second round of last year’s Wimbledon Tournament. Despite winning Wimbledon in 2008 and 2010, Nadal just can’t seem to pull himself together for the annual tournament.

I wonder what’s in store for Nadal at the 2014 Wimbledon Tournament? Another epic upset? Or major success like those at the French Open?

You can read my article about Nadal’s 2012 upset at Wimbledon here.

Meanwhile, other tennis superstars, such as Federer, Sharapova, Murray, easily advanced to the second round.

#1 men’s player Novak Djokovic and #1 women’s player Serena Williams will continue the tournament and play their first round matches tomorrow (June 25th).  The two week tournament will end on July 7th.

– J. Coco

[EDIT 6/26/13]

#3 Men’s and Women’s tennis players Roger Federer and Maria Sharapova, respectively, have both been defeated in the second round of play. Since many of the world’s top tennis players have been eliminated much earlier than anticipated, I have come to the conclusion that one of the following things must have occurred:

1. It is the end of the world.

2. This is some kind of sick prank that the players are doing. They need to stop.

3. I’m in a weird dream. I need to wake up.

Or there’s K Tosh’s theory. I think it’s the best one:

1. They decided that they didn’t want to keep playing if all their friends weren’t there.

Bravo, K Tosh. Bravo.

[END EDIT]


John Cochran

It was announced yesterday, May 24th, that John Cochran, two time Survivor contestant and Survivor: Caramoan winner, will write a comedy series called The Millers for CBS.

Cochran expressed his interest in writing during the Survivor Live Reunion Show which aired on May 12th. He felt that he was called to write with his “gift of gab,” despite recently graduating from Harvard Law School. Cochran announced the great news revealing that cast members would include Will Arnett, Margo Martindale, Beau Bridges, and many others.

CBS released this descripion of “The Millers”: “Will Arnett stars in this comedy, from creator Greg Garcia, about a recently divorced local news reporter who is looking forward to living the single life again. That is, until his parents’ marital problems derail his plans for a freewheeling bachelorhood. With his strong-willed mom staying with him while his easily confused Dad moves in with his sister, this separation will mean a lot of togetherness for THE MILLERS.”

Will Arnett, Margo Martindale, play mother and son.

Beau Bridges, Will Arnett, and Margo Martindale play the Millers.

For the Hollywood Reporter Article, click here.

To look at a sneak preview of the show on the CBS website, click here.

The Millers airs this fall, Thursdays 8:30/7:30 c on CBS.

I’m looking forward to the series premier and check back here for a review of the pilot!

– J. Coco


I love you.

COCHRAN!!! WOOO HOOOO!!!!

It’s a little late for a Survivor post seeing as the finale was two weeks ago, but none the less, I will post!

Man, oh, man, it was a fangirling filled 24 hours after it was announced that Cochran won. I jumped up screaming, yelling, celebrating that one of my favorite Survivor contestants won! Such excitement!

On the other hand, when I rushed to school the next day exploding with the fabulous news, reactions from my friends varied from relief that this season was finally over so I’d stop talking about it to judging stares and comments of “Oh, that’s nice.” Of course, hardly anyone – scratch that- no one I know watches Survivor anymore, so it was a pretty lonely fangirling party in my head.

When the final episode started, we were immediately hit with the medical evacuation of Erik. 😦 It’s always so sad to see players forced to leave because of something they can’t really control. I can’t imagine how disappointed I would be if that happened to me. I was, however, relieved for Cochran because I saw Erik as an obvious challenge threat. That left Cochran’s competition to Dawn, Sherri, and Eddie. Eddie would be the next immediate threat in challenges, then Dawn and Sherri, respectively.

After Cochran won the next two challenges, he had the game in the bag. Eddie, whom Cochran thought would win if in the final three, was voted off, leaving Dawn, Sherri, and Cochran in the finals.

This just makes me laugh.

I thought Cochran would have a difficult time beating Dawn at the vote. Dawn was like everyone’s mother, so sweet, yet still strong in her alliance and decent in challenges. But she got grilled at the Jury cross examination. I felt so bad for her. If it’s even possible, I might have felt worse for Sherri. Every jury member either ignored her, personally insulted her, or tried to prove to her that her game was crap. However, in Sherri’s defense, it could be argued that her game was decent, at best.

At the Fans tribe she really did take control of her alliance. People definitely listened to her there. The merge was a different story. I think she was only kept because she wasn’t really a threat. Her performance in the merged tribe was obviously her downfall, flipping from alliance to alliance, trying to stay alive. Her argument at the Jury cross examination was that she was “adaptable” to every situation she was in. That may be true, but she also didn’t show any loyalty or try to make her own move. (Not to mention she wasn’t very good at challenges either.) Never in a million years did I expect for anyone to vote for Sherri, and no one did. Oh well,  Sherri. At least you can say you got there – which isn’t something a lot of people can say.

The final vote was a “Cochran” sweep. 9 for you, Cochran! You go, Cochran!

Read this article about Cochran celebrating his win! It’s great! And it’s got some great Cochran quotes:

Regarding his $1 Million Check: “I haven’t seen so many zeros since the Stealth R Us alliance.”

What will he buy with the money? “I think I’m entitled to at least one nerd out purchase.” He’s referring to a segway! I love him!

I find it very fascinating how transformed Cochran is after two rounds of Survivor. He really did go from awkward Harvard nerd to smooth talking Survivor strategist. I remember in his first season he was afraid to take off his shirt! And now look at him! Adorable! Not to mention he has a ginger beard! (it’s a JPT thing…Maybe another post?)

Any who, I did respect the move he made in his first season that eventually lead to his demise. In a situation where you might be picking rocks to see who goes home, I’d rather make a move. It might have seemed foolish to flip alliances, but someone would have had to flip. It just shows that Cochran isn’t afraid to take the reigns and “be the author of his own fate,” to quote that block head Brandon. I was so disappointed when he was voted off on his first season. I was rooting for him! And I had a huge crush on him… *cough* *cough*… still do…*cough*.  Seriously though, if I saw him randomly on the street, (more likely I’d stalk him) I’d probably start weeping and try to hug him. So, John Cochran, if you’re reading this and some girl approaches you weeping and looks like she wants to capture you, don’t be alarmed! I’m not insane! It’s just a fangirling problem!

But for real, if John Cochran is reading this, please comment or message me or visit me or something because I’d like to express my gratitude for how entertaining and more interesting you made Survivor for me. Like you, I’ve been watching since I was thirteen! And by the way, I’d definitely buy anything you publish because, believe me, you totally have “the gift of gab.” Marry me? Just kidding. But for real. No, seriously, marry me?

Jokes aside, (I wasn’t joking before about the marriage thing)… (ok, fine I realize the chances are slim, but give me a chance?)… (OH MY GOD I NEED TO STOP.) Cochran played an excellent game and I my proud to be one of his fangirls. Thank you, Cochran.

Jeff: “How often does that happen?”
Cochran: “More often than you think.”

P.S. You better believe I’ll post if he publishes something.

P.P.S. I’m seriously not crazy. Just a little …sporadic?

– J. Coco.


I’m going to go out on a limb here and do something different- keep it fresh, you know? And speaking of fresh, this post will be about freshly mowed grass and how much I hate mowing the lawn.

Oh grass, why do you have to grow so quickly? Don’t you think you’re being a little too needy? I mean, I have to spend 3+ hours mowing you every week. And even though that doesn’t sound like a lot, IT IS. So while you’re soaking up the rain and sun, growing as tall as you can, I’m standing at the window. glaring. at you.

Don’t get me wrong, grass, you’re beautiful! So green and luscious, but I don’t think your maintenance is really a necessary part of my life. I’d love for someone to just come over and cut my lawn, but no, that costs way too much money for such a large yard. So here I am, stuck with you and your overexcited growing capabilities. I mean, why? Just why do you have to grow? Is it that hard to keep a consistent length? I stopped growing! Why can’t you?

Oh, and when I said you were beautiful, I was only being half honest. I hate the weeds you grow. Yeah, they’re colorful and whatnot, but they’re weeds. And they make my yard look bad. I’m already too busy watching 14+ episodes of Lost a week and you want me to mow AND kill weeds? That’s just not right.

Yeah, yeah, I know I don’t have to cut you in the winter but in place of that I have to deal with the snow! What?! Let’s compare our jobs: you get to hang outside blowing in the nice breeze, drinking up lots of water, soaking up the warm sun, looking beautiful, and I get to trudge around up and down my yard 100 times in the heat, sweating like a pig, making myself smell gross just to have to take another shower, and waste 3 hours to maintain you. And then people tell me my yard looks nice! Like you do all the work!

Come on, think about what you’re doing to me. If I sell the house then the next family will act as a slave to you, then the next, and the next. But what if one day the property is seized? Or a negligent homeowner moves in? Then what? You won’t get all the love and attention you think you need. So, just reconsider your growth patterns.

Look, I mean, some harsh things have been said between us, but all I’m asking is for you to slow your growth. I don’t really like being hounded by my mother to cut the grass because she can’t. Can’t you do me a little favor? For all the things I’ve done for you? Please? We can be buddies and I’ll lay on you and we can soak up the sun and feel the breeze together. Why not, you know? Friends?

Much love, your slave homeowner,

– J. Coco

*you’re.
but true.

Wish this was me.

Me.


By the eager begging request of Stosh, I’ve started to watch LOST. It’s been a week and I’ve watch 19 episodes already. 19 episodes. (I’m shaking my head right now in shame.) I told myself I wouldn’t get caught up in another tv show at this time of AP exams and final projects.  I lied to myself.

*SPOILER ALERT*

LOST is addictive. I want to know what happens to everyone! Why is the island so weird? Who are “the others”? How will they get off the island? How will they survive? Who’s inevitably going to die next? What’s the deal with Claire’s baby (who isn’t born yet)? Will Jin and Sun make up? Will the raft work? What’s the deal with Kate’s past? What is 4 8 15 16 23 42? What’s in Locke and Boone’s mysterious container? What’s the deal with the French chick? What is her power source? What is the monster is the jungle? Why are there polar bears? How are they all connected? SO MANY QUESTIONS!

They started out with 48 survivors. Now they’re down to 45.

I’ve only finished up to season 1 episode 19. There are 6 season. That’s 120 episodes. Only 101 to go…

So far Jin is my favorite character. He’s so attractive. Asian men are so attractive. Sun and Jin are so cute together.

I also like most of the other characters. I sympathize with the ones who seem a little off (like Sawyer and Jin). Kate intrigues me. Sayid is cool. Hurley  is a hoot. Charlie’s adorable. Shannon’s kind of annoying. Locke is awesome. How is he so awesome and knowledgeable?! Also the scar on his eye makes him look like such a bad boy.

I need answers to my questions! I hope they get answered soon.

I’ll be back with more rants and questions!

– J. Coco


J. Coco here, and I’m trying something new! For this week’s Survivor episode I’m going to (try) to live blog my thoughts and comments. It should be a good one since the merge is here!

It’s starting!!

The recaps show the failing Bikal tribe, the succeeding Gota tribe, Phillip’s claim of throwing the last challenge, and the Phillip-Corrine fights.

Right as everyone’s congratulating Michael for surviving tribal, Phillip pulls Dawn and Corrine aside and tells them he threw the last immunity challenge. They can see right through it. Phillip’s full of it.  Also I just want to say how disturbing it is that Corinne speaks of Michael like she owns him. “I got the gay!!” Really? Is that appropriate? No.

Aaaaand here comes the theme song. I love the theme song. The tribal-ish music is so fun! I like to hum along…

The Bikal Favorites are solid in their alliance. Good. I like it that way.

And there’s Jeff going to the Gota tribe in a big boat! Guess what’s coming…the merge!

Andrea wants to stay in her old alliance with the Bikal Favorites. Yay! That’s a possible solid 5 if Corinne cooperates. Erik and Malcolm flipped to the Fans and who knows where Branda’s at? They’re united as one tribe now – green is their new color. Aww how cute, Malcolm wanted the tribe’s new name to be his mom’s name backwards!

Andrea’s confirmed with Phillip, Cochran, and Dawn as an alliance. Meanwhile Corinne makes an alliance with Malcolm, Erik, Eddie, Reynold, and Michael. That’s 6, but not a majority in the new tribe of 12 people. We’ll have to see where Brenda and Sherri stand. There’s talk of voting off Sherri…

Tree mail came! The challenge is going to be eating something gross… ugh I don’t like these types of challenges… .>.<

Eddie’s worried about how women will think of him after eating bugs?? What the heck?? Cochran’s down for it. He thinks women will like him more from this. You go, Cochran!! I love you!

Ok Andrea, Sherri, Corinne, Erik, Eddie, and Malcolm are up first at the challenge. They’re eating beetle larva.

Eddie, Andrea, and Malcolm move on to the next round.

Dawn, Cochran, Brenda, Phillip, Michael, and Reynold are next. They’re also eating beetle larva.

Cochran (yay), Phillip, and Michael move on to the next round.

Eddie, Andrea, and Malcolm, Cochran, Phillip, and Michael are all together in this round.

Cochran (YAY), Eddie, and Malcolm move on. They’re eating duck embryo. That is literally the most disgusting thing I’ve ever heard of. There’s feathers and a beak in that thing! *gags*

Cochran moves on!!! Malcolm moves on!! This is the final round – for immunity! They’re eating pig brains.

COCHRAN WON!!!! WOOO HOOO!!!!! COCHRAN WON SOMETHING!!!! YAY!!!! Aw, look! he’s beaming!! I’m so proud of you, Cochran. Cochran’s safe at this tribal council. His dream is fulfilled.

Alright, they’re back at camp. This is where the scrambling begins. Phillip wants a big fish to go (Reynold or Eddie). He also wants to split votes so any possible idols would be flushed out. Corinne is in an alliance with Reynold and Eddie so she obviously doesn’t want to do that. She wants Sherri to go. Sherri will be an easy target and she’s “no sweat off anybody’s back” really. Cochran is suspicious of Corinne’s motives to vote off Sherri. He’s getting concerned about the solidity of the Favorites alliance. There are 8 favorites and 4 fans left. Obviously the Favorites can pull something if they stick together.

Now Corinne is trying to pull Dawn into her new alliance and to vote off Sherri, then Phillip next. She tells Cochran about Corinne’s plans. Now Dawn and Cochran want to vote off someone from Corinne’s alliance. Cochran tells Andrea. Cochran’s really worried. Andrea tells this to Phillip. OOOH now they want to vote off Corinne… oh snap…They just need to get Sherri on board with their voting. But Sherri doesn’t like Phillip. At this point Sherri and Erik are the swing votes to either vote off Sherri or Corinne. They’re headed to tribal. This should be very interesting.

Ok they’re voting now. Phillip votes for Corinne. Corinne votes for Sherri. Andrea votes for Corinne. Michael votes for Sherri. Erik’s the swing vote. Here we go – the vote counting. No idols are played.

Sherri, Sherri, Sherri, Sherri, Sherri, Corinne, Corinne, Corinne, Corinne, Corinne, Corinne. This is it! Last vote! CORINNE! WOW. I’m very shocked that they pulled this off. I’m glad to see her go now – that means no more complaining! Man, Corinne was really shocked.

Next time on Survivor: Will Malcolm make a move? And Eddie is hitting on Andrea. Ew that’s kinda weird. Don’t fall for it, Andrea!

– J. Coco


I’ve been bad! I haven’t been keeping up with my Survivor  posts lately! So I’m just going to cram two episodes into one post…

Previews for episode six were setting up for something big. I thought it was the merge. But why merge with 14 people?? That’s crazy! But it wasn’t the merge. It was a shake up! A tribe swap! Looming doom for some castaways! O.o

I was pretty shocked. This tribe swap could really mess up the Favorites’ alliance. Granted, the alliance was never perfect with Corrine and Phillip butting heads and other issues, but nonetheless, the alliance could go far together!

The new tribes are thus:

shake up

Gota:                           Bikal:

Eddie                            Matt

Reynold                      Michael

Sherri                           Julia

Andrea                        Phillip

Erik                               Corinne

Malcolm                      Dawn

Brenda                         Cochran

The Favorites really got lucky. They have the numbers on both tribes: 4 Favorites, 3 fans. But this is where things get tricky. Can the Favorites still be loyal to each other while separated? I definitely know Reynold and Eddie are going to try to pull something together to stay alive and keep on the side with the numbers.

Notice the difference in physical strength among the tribes. Can you guess which tribe will be dominant? That’s right, Gota. They have the top four strongest males (Eddie, Reynold, Malcolm, and Erik) plus Andrea. As for Bikal, well, Matt, Michael, and Corinne are decent. Phillip is strong. But they cannot compete with Gota. I think we’re going to see Bikal lose the challenge.

And we did! Bikal lost pretty bad. This challenge was a Survivor Classic: Retrieve large wooden blocks and arrange them in a stair-like manner to spell “Fans vs Favorites.” I think Bikal needed better communication and leadership. Bikal will lose someone at tribal and this will be the first test of the Favorites loyalty to their alliance.

On the other hand, it is (kind of) nice to see the Fans on Gota finally enjoying a reward.

At tribal Fan Matt was voted off. I was sad to see him go. He was interesting and one of my favorite fans to watch. Goodbye Cincinnati Man! Maybe I’ll see you around?

The game stands as thus:

Gota: 7 tribe members (4 Favorites, 3 Fans)

Bikal: 6 tribe members (4 Favorites, 2 Fans)

On to episode 7!

Both tribes are getting kind of chummy – especially Gota. This is the moment I’ve been waiting for: Reynold and Eddied propose an alliance to Malcolm and Erik. They argued that the four strong men would be the first targets in the looming merge so they should stick together. They accepted, creating a new alliance. It’ll be interesting to see what the rest of the Favorite alliance will do.

Cochran knows whats up. Watch this clip and he’ll give you the rundown of the importance of what just happened and what’s about to happen.

At the challenges Gota dominated again. Surprise, surprise.

The reward challenge was just a big embarrassment for the Bikal tribe. It was an endurance challenge. The two tribes started at opposite sides of a track carrying weights and whichever tribe could catch up to the other would win. Phillip insisted his strategy would work and lead the tribe. He dropped the ball (figuratively) and they were creamed.

The reward was a sweets bar! All the treats Gota could want were provided. At one point Erik was lying on the ground, asleep, with a cookie in his hand pressed against his heart and a smile on his face. If that is not the perfect picture of happiness, then I don’t know what is.

phillip vs cochranThe immunity challenge was not much better. Bikal lost, no surprise. Back at camp there were disagreements among the Favorites as to whom should go home. It was between the only fans left, Michael and Julia. Corinne wanted to keep Michael because of her relationship with him that they could trust him. Phillip wanted Julia gone because he can’t trust her. Also, Phillip and Corinne keep saying they want each other out because of how annoying they are to one another (but that won’t happen- the alliance is much more important). At this point the Favorites want to split the votes to flush out any possible idols (the only idols left in the game are with Reynold and Malcolm, both on Gota) but the decision seem weary.

At tribal they did indeed split the vote at 3 for Michael and 3 for Julia. At the re-vote it was Julia whose torch was snuffed.

The game stands as thus:

Gota: 7 tribe members (4 Favorites, 3 Fans)

Bikal: 5 tribe members (4 Favorites, 1 Fan)

Next Week:

merge

It’s the MERGE! For real this time! Man, oh, man, things will get interesting.

Watch “Next Time on Survivor”

I’m still rooting for you, Cochran!

Watch Survivor Wednesdays at 8 on CBS!

– J. Coco