tosh: toe-shh (n. adj. adv. v.) Any positive definition imaginable.

Monthly Archives: April 2013

I’m going to go out on a limb here and do something different- keep it fresh, you know? And speaking of fresh, this post will be about freshly mowed grass and how much I hate mowing the lawn.

Oh grass, why do you have to grow so quickly? Don’t you think you’re being a little too needy? I mean, I have to spend 3+ hours mowing you every week. And even though that doesn’t sound like a lot, IT IS. So while you’re soaking up the rain and sun, growing as tall as you can, I’m standing at the window. glaring. at you.

Don’t get me wrong, grass, you’re beautiful! So green and luscious, but I don’t think your maintenance is really a necessary part of my life. I’d love for someone to just come over and cut my lawn, but no, that costs way too much money for such a large yard. So here I am, stuck with you and your overexcited growing capabilities. I mean, why? Just why do you have to grow? Is it that hard to keep a consistent length? I stopped growing! Why can’t you?

Oh, and when I said you were beautiful, I was only being half honest. I hate the weeds you grow. Yeah, they’re colorful and whatnot, but they’re weeds. And they make my yard look bad. I’m already too busy watching 14+ episodes of Lost a week and you want me to mow AND kill weeds? That’s just not right.

Yeah, yeah, I know I don’t have to cut you in the winter but in place of that I have to deal with the snow! What?! Let’s compare our jobs: you get to hang outside blowing in the nice breeze, drinking up lots of water, soaking up the warm sun, looking beautiful, and I get to trudge around up and down my yard 100 times in the heat, sweating like a pig, making myself smell gross just to have to take another shower, and waste 3 hours to maintain you. And then people tell me my yard looks nice! Like you do all the work!

Come on, think about what you’re doing to me. If I sell the house then the next family will act as a slave to you, then the next, and the next. But what if one day the property is seized? Or a negligent homeowner moves in? Then what? You won’t get all the love and attention you think you need. So, just reconsider your growth patterns.

Look, I mean, some harsh things have been said between us, but all I’m asking is for you to slow your growth. I don’t really like being hounded by my mother to cut the grass because she can’t. Can’t you do me a little favor? For all the things I’ve done for you? Please? We can be buddies and I’ll lay on you and we can soak up the sun and feel the breeze together. Why not, you know? Friends?

Much love, your slave homeowner,

– J. Coco

*you’re.
but true.

Wish this was me.

Me.


By the eager begging request of Stosh, I’ve started to watch LOST. It’s been a week and I’ve watch 19 episodes already. 19 episodes. (I’m shaking my head right now in shame.) I told myself I wouldn’t get caught up in another tv show at this time of AP exams and final projects.  I lied to myself.

*SPOILER ALERT*

LOST is addictive. I want to know what happens to everyone! Why is the island so weird? Who are “the others”? How will they get off the island? How will they survive? Who’s inevitably going to die next? What’s the deal with Claire’s baby (who isn’t born yet)? Will Jin and Sun make up? Will the raft work? What’s the deal with Kate’s past? What is 4 8 15 16 23 42? What’s in Locke and Boone’s mysterious container? What’s the deal with the French chick? What is her power source? What is the monster is the jungle? Why are there polar bears? How are they all connected? SO MANY QUESTIONS!

They started out with 48 survivors. Now they’re down to 45.

I’ve only finished up to season 1 episode 19. There are 6 season. That’s 120 episodes. Only 101 to go…

So far Jin is my favorite character. He’s so attractive. Asian men are so attractive. Sun and Jin are so cute together.

I also like most of the other characters. I sympathize with the ones who seem a little off (like Sawyer and Jin). Kate intrigues me. Sayid is cool. Hurley  is a hoot. Charlie’s adorable. Shannon’s kind of annoying. Locke is awesome. How is he so awesome and knowledgeable?! Also the scar on his eye makes him look like such a bad boy.

I need answers to my questions! I hope they get answered soon.

I’ll be back with more rants and questions!

– J. Coco


J. Coco here, and I’m trying something new! For this week’s Survivor episode I’m going to (try) to live blog my thoughts and comments. It should be a good one since the merge is here!

It’s starting!!

The recaps show the failing Bikal tribe, the succeeding Gota tribe, Phillip’s claim of throwing the last challenge, and the Phillip-Corrine fights.

Right as everyone’s congratulating Michael for surviving tribal, Phillip pulls Dawn and Corrine aside and tells them he threw the last immunity challenge. They can see right through it. Phillip’s full of it.  Also I just want to say how disturbing it is that Corinne speaks of Michael like she owns him. “I got the gay!!” Really? Is that appropriate? No.

Aaaaand here comes the theme song. I love the theme song. The tribal-ish music is so fun! I like to hum along…

The Bikal Favorites are solid in their alliance. Good. I like it that way.

And there’s Jeff going to the Gota tribe in a big boat! Guess what’s coming…the merge!

Andrea wants to stay in her old alliance with the Bikal Favorites. Yay! That’s a possible solid 5 if Corinne cooperates. Erik and Malcolm flipped to the Fans and who knows where Branda’s at? They’re united as one tribe now – green is their new color. Aww how cute, Malcolm wanted the tribe’s new name to be his mom’s name backwards!

Andrea’s confirmed with Phillip, Cochran, and Dawn as an alliance. Meanwhile Corinne makes an alliance with Malcolm, Erik, Eddie, Reynold, and Michael. That’s 6, but not a majority in the new tribe of 12 people. We’ll have to see where Brenda and Sherri stand. There’s talk of voting off Sherri…

Tree mail came! The challenge is going to be eating something gross… ugh I don’t like these types of challenges… .>.<

Eddie’s worried about how women will think of him after eating bugs?? What the heck?? Cochran’s down for it. He thinks women will like him more from this. You go, Cochran!! I love you!

Ok Andrea, Sherri, Corinne, Erik, Eddie, and Malcolm are up first at the challenge. They’re eating beetle larva.

Eddie, Andrea, and Malcolm move on to the next round.

Dawn, Cochran, Brenda, Phillip, Michael, and Reynold are next. They’re also eating beetle larva.

Cochran (yay), Phillip, and Michael move on to the next round.

Eddie, Andrea, and Malcolm, Cochran, Phillip, and Michael are all together in this round.

Cochran (YAY), Eddie, and Malcolm move on. They’re eating duck embryo. That is literally the most disgusting thing I’ve ever heard of. There’s feathers and a beak in that thing! *gags*

Cochran moves on!!! Malcolm moves on!! This is the final round – for immunity! They’re eating pig brains.

COCHRAN WON!!!! WOOO HOOO!!!!! COCHRAN WON SOMETHING!!!! YAY!!!! Aw, look! he’s beaming!! I’m so proud of you, Cochran. Cochran’s safe at this tribal council. His dream is fulfilled.

Alright, they’re back at camp. This is where the scrambling begins. Phillip wants a big fish to go (Reynold or Eddie). He also wants to split votes so any possible idols would be flushed out. Corinne is in an alliance with Reynold and Eddie so she obviously doesn’t want to do that. She wants Sherri to go. Sherri will be an easy target and she’s “no sweat off anybody’s back” really. Cochran is suspicious of Corinne’s motives to vote off Sherri. He’s getting concerned about the solidity of the Favorites alliance. There are 8 favorites and 4 fans left. Obviously the Favorites can pull something if they stick together.

Now Corinne is trying to pull Dawn into her new alliance and to vote off Sherri, then Phillip next. She tells Cochran about Corinne’s plans. Now Dawn and Cochran want to vote off someone from Corinne’s alliance. Cochran tells Andrea. Cochran’s really worried. Andrea tells this to Phillip. OOOH now they want to vote off Corinne… oh snap…They just need to get Sherri on board with their voting. But Sherri doesn’t like Phillip. At this point Sherri and Erik are the swing votes to either vote off Sherri or Corinne. They’re headed to tribal. This should be very interesting.

Ok they’re voting now. Phillip votes for Corinne. Corinne votes for Sherri. Andrea votes for Corinne. Michael votes for Sherri. Erik’s the swing vote. Here we go – the vote counting. No idols are played.

Sherri, Sherri, Sherri, Sherri, Sherri, Corinne, Corinne, Corinne, Corinne, Corinne, Corinne. This is it! Last vote! CORINNE! WOW. I’m very shocked that they pulled this off. I’m glad to see her go now – that means no more complaining! Man, Corinne was really shocked.

Next time on Survivor: Will Malcolm make a move? And Eddie is hitting on Andrea. Ew that’s kinda weird. Don’t fall for it, Andrea!

– J. Coco


I’ve been bad! I haven’t been keeping up with my Survivor  posts lately! So I’m just going to cram two episodes into one post…

Previews for episode six were setting up for something big. I thought it was the merge. But why merge with 14 people?? That’s crazy! But it wasn’t the merge. It was a shake up! A tribe swap! Looming doom for some castaways! O.o

I was pretty shocked. This tribe swap could really mess up the Favorites’ alliance. Granted, the alliance was never perfect with Corrine and Phillip butting heads and other issues, but nonetheless, the alliance could go far together!

The new tribes are thus:

shake up

Gota:                           Bikal:

Eddie                            Matt

Reynold                      Michael

Sherri                           Julia

Andrea                        Phillip

Erik                               Corinne

Malcolm                      Dawn

Brenda                         Cochran

The Favorites really got lucky. They have the numbers on both tribes: 4 Favorites, 3 fans. But this is where things get tricky. Can the Favorites still be loyal to each other while separated? I definitely know Reynold and Eddie are going to try to pull something together to stay alive and keep on the side with the numbers.

Notice the difference in physical strength among the tribes. Can you guess which tribe will be dominant? That’s right, Gota. They have the top four strongest males (Eddie, Reynold, Malcolm, and Erik) plus Andrea. As for Bikal, well, Matt, Michael, and Corinne are decent. Phillip is strong. But they cannot compete with Gota. I think we’re going to see Bikal lose the challenge.

And we did! Bikal lost pretty bad. This challenge was a Survivor Classic: Retrieve large wooden blocks and arrange them in a stair-like manner to spell “Fans vs Favorites.” I think Bikal needed better communication and leadership. Bikal will lose someone at tribal and this will be the first test of the Favorites loyalty to their alliance.

On the other hand, it is (kind of) nice to see the Fans on Gota finally enjoying a reward.

At tribal Fan Matt was voted off. I was sad to see him go. He was interesting and one of my favorite fans to watch. Goodbye Cincinnati Man! Maybe I’ll see you around?

The game stands as thus:

Gota: 7 tribe members (4 Favorites, 3 Fans)

Bikal: 6 tribe members (4 Favorites, 2 Fans)

On to episode 7!

Both tribes are getting kind of chummy – especially Gota. This is the moment I’ve been waiting for: Reynold and Eddied propose an alliance to Malcolm and Erik. They argued that the four strong men would be the first targets in the looming merge so they should stick together. They accepted, creating a new alliance. It’ll be interesting to see what the rest of the Favorite alliance will do.

Cochran knows whats up. Watch this clip and he’ll give you the rundown of the importance of what just happened and what’s about to happen.

At the challenges Gota dominated again. Surprise, surprise.

The reward challenge was just a big embarrassment for the Bikal tribe. It was an endurance challenge. The two tribes started at opposite sides of a track carrying weights and whichever tribe could catch up to the other would win. Phillip insisted his strategy would work and lead the tribe. He dropped the ball (figuratively) and they were creamed.

The reward was a sweets bar! All the treats Gota could want were provided. At one point Erik was lying on the ground, asleep, with a cookie in his hand pressed against his heart and a smile on his face. If that is not the perfect picture of happiness, then I don’t know what is.

phillip vs cochranThe immunity challenge was not much better. Bikal lost, no surprise. Back at camp there were disagreements among the Favorites as to whom should go home. It was between the only fans left, Michael and Julia. Corinne wanted to keep Michael because of her relationship with him that they could trust him. Phillip wanted Julia gone because he can’t trust her. Also, Phillip and Corinne keep saying they want each other out because of how annoying they are to one another (but that won’t happen- the alliance is much more important). At this point the Favorites want to split the votes to flush out any possible idols (the only idols left in the game are with Reynold and Malcolm, both on Gota) but the decision seem weary.

At tribal they did indeed split the vote at 3 for Michael and 3 for Julia. At the re-vote it was Julia whose torch was snuffed.

The game stands as thus:

Gota: 7 tribe members (4 Favorites, 3 Fans)

Bikal: 5 tribe members (4 Favorites, 1 Fan)

Next Week:

merge

It’s the MERGE! For real this time! Man, oh, man, things will get interesting.

Watch “Next Time on Survivor”

I’m still rooting for you, Cochran!

Watch Survivor Wednesdays at 8 on CBS!

– J. Coco