tosh: toe-shh (n. adj. adv. v.) Any positive definition imaginable.

Monthly Archives: March 2013

Dancing with the Stars, Season 16 is officially underway!  J. Coco and I (K-Tosh) are really loving this season.  With a charismatic, (mostly) talented cast, this looks like it’s going to be one of the best.  Mostly because Derek’s still here.  Let’s take a look at some of the things we loved about the premiere and the first two weeks of competition.

Derek is still here.  And shirtless.

Apparently he got cut by that glass top.  Wait, what was that?  Glass top??  What is she, a table?  It’s apparently made of glass (adorned with glass?), but it’s not as…see-through… as I would imagine.

No elimination the first week.

Or (SPOILER ALERT) the second week.  Although we’re sad that Dorothy had to leave the way she did, J. Coco especially didn’t want to see Victor go, and I don’t think he would have been the right choice either.  But I love no elimination the first week because I always love to see all of the stars dance as much as possible!

Hair Scores

We’ve decided to introduce a new scoring system to DWTS…the Hair Rating.

Derek Hough

10/10.  In the paraphrased words of J. Coco, “Derek would get a 10 if he was bald.”

Tristan MacManus

Week 1:

4/10.  It’s very plain…and it looks like he may have straightened it?

Week 2:

Can you really see it well? …2/10.

Sean Lowe

Week 1:

8/10.  He just went with a classic, simple style.  It looks soft and fuzzy.

Mark Ballas

I don’t even… For the last few years his hair and other style elements have been gravitating between Fall Out Boy member and Radio Shack employee.  Forming your hair into the shape of an ice cream cone is apparently the style this year (see: Tristan).  3/10

Gleb Savchenko

My-oh-my/10.  Just kidding, 9.5/10.  This newcomer did not disappoint (hair wise).  I hope he goes far…if you know what I mean. 😉

Val Chmerkovskiy

9/10 for not being Derek.  Zendaya gets 10/10 on the girl scale, which is not comparable to the man scale, for having astoundingly fly hair in week one.  Why can’t my hair look like that!??!  /serious rage

For season 16, J. Coco and I will be guessing everyone’s ranks again (I mentioned it once).  We ended up being tied last year!  But this year she is so going down!  And now, for honor, for glory, for a teeny, tiny, not-yet-physically-existent mirror ball trophy, I present…our rankings:

K-Tosh’s Rankings

1. Kellie and Derek

2. Aly and Mark

3. Zendaya and Val

4. Jacoby and Karina

5. Ingo and Kym

6. Sean and Peta

7. Andy and Sharna

8. Victor and Lindsay

9. Lisa and Gleb

10. Wynonna and Tony

11. D.L. and Cheryl

Dorothy was originally in tenth.*

J. Coco’s Rankings

1. Kellie and Derek

2. Jacoby and Karina

3. Zendaya and Val

4. Ingo and Kym

5. Sean and Peta

6. Aly and Mark

7. Lisa and Gleb

8. Victor and Lindsay

9. Wynonna and Tony

10. Andy and Sharna

11. D.L. and Cheryl

* Dorothy was originally in 11th (and D.L. in 12th)

*We decided not to count week two’s elimination, because it wasn’t score/vote-based.  We’ll begin keeping score with week 3’s elimination!

I’m sure there will be plenty of surprises ahead!  Will our stars and pros have the prom dance of their dreams, or will the night end in disaster?  With my beloved Apolo Ohno gone, will Derek be able to fulfill my deepest expectations as the only one I gawk at?!  (Answer: Yes)  Will Gleb usurp the Chmerkovskiy reign as the most popular pro among middle aged women, now that Maks isn’t around?  All the answers, and more, only on DWTSxJPT16!  (Long Title: “Dancing with the Stars and Just Plane Tosh Crossover Special, Season 16”)

– K-Tosh

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Dancing with the Stars always has an incredibly attractive cast- and this season is no different! Here’s J. Coco’s rankings of Dancing’s Sexiest Men of the Season.

1. Derek Hough

No surprise here! Of course Derek’s #1!! By the amount that K-Tosh and I (J. Coco) talk about Derek and his sexiness, well, he deserves to be #1, #2, and #3… I mean, just look at him. His eyes… they pierce into my soul! … that jaw? … not to mention his perfect blonde hair…and that smile? Oh my god! *collapses from fangirling*

2. Gleb Savchenko

I’d say he’s a wonderful new addition to DWTS. Not that anyone’s going to complain…

He has an interesting relationship with his celebrity partner Lisa Vanderpump. There are so many innuendos and sexual dancing! It’s kind of gross! Especially because Lisa is so amused by it. And the awkward outfits Lisa wears don’t help much. He’s still attractive though.

I think he looks sort of like James Marsden, especially in this picture.

3. Victor Ortiz

He looks so good with longer hair like in the picture (opposed to the shorter hair he sports (haha) when he’s boxing). Also, men look so much sexier to me when their eyes are crinkled when they’re smiling or laughing. And the scruffle! Notice the pictures previous to this one and after are similar. Woah. I didn’t know that about myself. I like men with scruffle and crinkley eyes. O.o

He looks like a puppy dog! *gushes*

This gave me a good chuckle.

4. Sean Lowe

The Bachelor! I love him! He’s so sweet. I told K- Tosh that she’d fall in love with him as the season progresses just like I did on the Bachelor! Look at that smile! What a pretty boy.

5. Tony Dovolani

With age comes beauty! Just kidding, he’s only 39. Again with the scruffle and the eye crinkles…Why do I have a type?

But yes, Tony totally beats Val.

6. Val Chmerkovskiy

Of course Val. I felt obligated.

He was (one of) the guy(s) that was literally willing to strip down to his underwear in a dance. Classy? No.

Sexy? Regrettably, yes.

I’d like to point out the irony in his partner situation with Zendaya Coleman. Val, the young, incredibly attractive, heartthrob who was rumored to being in a relationship with his last partner, Kelly Monaco, during the show, was assigned to the youngest contestant in DWTS history who is 16, not legal, and has close affiliations with Disney. They could not have paired any two people together that would have ended more disastrously if any romantic or sexual advancements were made. Val is going to have to be extremely careful with his choreography and his actions (Zendaya too, of course).

Still, though, he makes the list.

7. Ingo Rademacher

Why, hello. I love your beautiful green eyes. They’re beautiful. I love them. I want to stare at them forever.

Honorable Mention: Andy Dick

You rocked that suit, Andy!

The judges agree: These men get a ten!

Sorry for being cheesy just now.

Tune in to ABC Monday nights at 8 and Tuesday nights at 9 to watch Dancing with the Stars!

– J. Coco


I would see this movie.  I would rent out the theater so no one but 150 of my closest friends could hear me weep tears of joy.  I would pay for the production of this movie.

It could happen!  Or at least something close.  After watching this next trailer, I was dying to see the nonexistent movie.

But then, they ACTUALLY MADE IT.  Well, into a miniseries.

So awesome.

– K-Tosh


Hello internet!  Stosh here.  I realize I haven’t posted anything in over six months, so I thought I’d drop by and say hello.  My life has been incredibly hectic and stressful this year, so I haven’t had much time to post all of the waffles I’ve made.  But in honor of St. Patty’s Day, I’ve decided to postpone my stress inducing work and make a beautiful new waffle instead.  I present, the Shamrock Waffle:

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As you can see, I got a new waffle iron.  I got this adorable little waffle iron for my birthday that makes five heart shaped pieces.  I cut one of the pieces to be the stem of the four leaf clover, and the others make the leaves.  I also added green food coloring.  And let’s not forget the potatoes.  You can’t have St. Patrick’s Day without potatoes, right?  (Actually, you probably shouldn’t have any day without potatoes.)

Of course, no waffle is complete without whipped cream…

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Next time on the Weekly Waffle:

The Valentine’s Day waffle I didn’t have time to post from last month!

Until next time,

Stosh


This episode was Survivor history in the making. I have never seen anyone behave like Brandon did on Wednesday’s episode. What he did was a shame to himself and to the game of Survivor.

I’m not going to relay whole conflict because, frankly, it’s too complicated and frustrating to write. I will, however, discuss my thoughts about certain parts of the situation that I think should be addressed.

In the days leading up to Brandon’s meltdown, Brandon was visibly conflicted. He seemed very down and frustrated, at one point thinking about quitting. That’s when he got worse. He convinced himself that the only reason he thought of quitting was because of  his external conflict with Phillip, not because of his own unstable emotions brewing inside of him. Brandon, of course did something drastic and attention grabbing: He dumped the Favorites’ rice and bean supply (all their food) in the sand. Brandon’s actions threw the tribe in shock and they desperately needed to fix their problem.

Things got worse at the Immunity Challenge. Before the challenge started, Jeff asked Brandon how he was doing, and boy, did Brandon let him know. Brandon admitted to having conflict with Phillip and ruining the food supply. Brandon then addressed the Fans tribe and said he dumped the food for them. He wanted the tribes to play on equal playing ground since the Favorites won so many rewards (5). He made excuse after excuse for his behavior.

At this point Jeff had asked Brandon to join him in a neutral area away from the tribes to avoid any physical fights. Then he went after Phillip. Brandon let it all out. It was a complete and total meltdown. Watch it here.

Brandon complained of Phillip’s disrespectful behavior toward him and called him out on being a wanna-be Boston Rob. The whole time (it was a very long meltdown) Phillip stood still and unemotional. He kept his cool until Jeff asked him what he thought. Of course Phillip was upset that he was being attacked Phillip called Brandon out on his unstable mind and distorted point of view. Phillip called Brandon pathetic and accused him of leaving behind his children. That was a hit below the belt. It was uncalled for and Phillip shouldn’t have stooped that low. Phillip and Brandon both are responsible for their conflict, but neither man should have taken it personally.

Then and there, at the challenge, the Favorites agreed forfeit immunity and hold tribal council. On the spot, everyone cast a verbal vote against Brandon and he was the sixth person eliminated from Survivor.

This is what Brandon had to say for himself.  I am genuinely afraid of his unstable condition.

Watch Erik’s thoughts on the situation.

This is what Brandon has to say about his actions and words after the episode aired:

“It was awesome. Me and Russell and my dad and everybody, we enjoyed every bit of it. We were like, ‘Oh yes, that’s Hantz-style, baby.’ … Instead of crying, instead of showing weakness, I tried crying the last time to express my feelings and nobody liked that too much, I thought well, maybe I can be aggressive this time and people will respect that.

But you can’t win for losing. You’re not going to have everybody like you all the time. More people agree with what I did last night than what I did all season on ‘South Pacific’ and I was trying to be the best man I could be [then]. I’m not playing for anybody. This isn’t fake for me. I thought we were all supposed to be real people and express real feelings, but what’s real anymore?”

I’d like to sit down and talk to Phillip about it. We made history together. I didn’t just make history. If he wasn’t there, it would not have been able to happen. It’s something to be proud of. We had the best episode that’s ever been on ‘Survivor,’ the most extraordinary. We’re truly TV, that’s for sure. He’s a great TV personality.”

So during Brandon’s meltdown he claims he’s defending himself, his family, the sanctity of the game, and the fans tribe, insisting that this is him in real life, and then turns around and says that he’s proud of what he did because it made great TV? WHAT THE HECK? All Brandon wants is attention and satisfaction from everyone and everything he comes in contact with.

Brandon, stop contradicting yourself and stop blaming all your problems on other people. You and only you are responsible for what you do and how you treat others. Just because you think someone is being disrespectful to you, that doesn’t give you the right to be disrespectful to them. Revenge and retaliation turns you into the person you disliked in the first place. Was all of this worth throwing away your chance of winning $1 million and possibly making a better life for your family? That’s up to you and only up to you. Phillip was only doing what you were trying to do – play and win Survivor. If you make this game personal, you will suffer and you will lose the $1 million, your self respect, your sanity, or all three. Yes, Brandon, you are the author of your own fate. But don’t blame and attack Phillip for being the deliverer of your fate. You brought this upon yourself. Winning Survivor means getting to the final tribal and having a jury of your peers award it to you. You must earn it. If you can’t get them to see that you deserve it, then you don’t deserve it. I’m absolutely not saying you should throw away you beliefs for a game, but if you can’t handle what you’re walking into, you shouldn’t come. If you can dish it out, you can take it, so don’t act like the victim.

Brandon is an immature child and he should have never been cast. Even though he passed the psychological evaluation necessary to be on the show, he should have never been asked to return for a second season. His presence put the other contestants at possible risk of physical harm and he put his own mental stability on the line. If I see another contestant like this on Survivor again, I will write many angry letters to the network. If the casting continues to go downhill, I might as well start watching soap operas.

Survivor is a game of strategy. This crap that Brandon pulled belongs on The Real House Wives or another show of equivalent petty attention seeking. I am so disappointed.

The game stands as thus:

.                                                             Favorites              Fans

Tribe Members                                       8                           6

Reward Challenges Won                      5                            0

Immunity Challenges Won                  3                           2

Next week there seems to be a tease of a merge. What will occur?

Keep it real people,

– J. Coco

P.S – I still love you, Cochran.


Howdy, it’s K-Tosh! Ktoshhhhh…That reminds me of “Skadoosh.” (K-Tosh is pronounced Kay-Tosh, though)

So, we all know that I’m a kind of an otaku… you do know that, right??  I looooove me some manga and anime.  But DID YOU KNOW that you can be an otaku about things OTHER than manga and anime?  Like, for instance, in a certain interaction between Edward and Winry in Fullmetal Alchemist (funny that this is a manga reference, when I intended to get away from that in this post), Edward calls Winry an “automail otaku” and she calls him an “alchemy otaku.”  So I’m pretty much generally otaku-ish because I get obsessed with things.  Correction, I don’t just get obsessed, I obsess hard.  And since I wanted to talk about all of these things on this blog, I decided to consolidate them a bit.  Maybe I’ll expand on some of them later.  I’ll definitely be bringing up Dancing with the Stars more later, so I’m leaving it out for now.  On with the list!

Food Network

I discovered this channel because it was one of the only channels I could watch at night when I was younger. =/ But, I ended up loving the shows!  I can’t even cook, and I can’t even eat half of what they make due to my nut allergy, but for some reason, it fascinates me.  I think the lovable personalities on Food Network shows are part of it.  I especially love the Iron Chefs – they’re like my version of the Avengers.  Iron Man?  No thank you, I have Bobby Flay.

Thank goodness for this picture, this was starting to turn into a wall of text.

I couldn’t find one with Zakarian/Hello Kitty Band-Aid Man and Guarnasche-WAIT.  I just remembered something.  Iron Chef is of Japanese origin.  >_>

Here’s Iron Chef Guarnaschelli.

And Iron Chef Zakarian. I LOVE those clear glasses. I find all of his choices of glasses very stylish.

I have to include one more picture here, because another show I love on Food Network is Good Eats, and the host Alton Brown in general.  He knows EVERYTHING!  About food, at least.  He glorifies nerdiness.  He’s not an Iron Chef, but he’s a hero in his own right (not to mention the host of ICA shows).

Make it rain, Alton #koshersalt

Favorite Shows: Unwrapped, Good Eats, Iron Chef America, The Next Iron Chef, The Next Food Network StarThe Great Food Truck RaceThrowdown with Bobby Flay

House of Anubis

House of Anubis is a British/American television series that airs used to air on Nickelodeon here in the States.  It began as a Belgian/Dutch show, and it is kind of like a soap opera for kids.  That’s right, I said it, it’s for kids.  *is about to graduate from high school* But they solve mysteries!  And it was moved to TeenNick, so, uh, that makes it more for teens such as myself.  And, uh, that also means I have to watch it online now.  But that’s just a sign of my true devotion!  I was hooked during season 1, continued the love in season 2, and have had to adjust to changes in the formula that I loved during season 3.  For example, during 1 and 2, new, half-hour episodes were on Nick every Monday-Thursday for the first few months of each year (2011 and 2012).  But during season 3, “The Reawakening” (oooooh), new episodes only came out on Nick on Thursdays, they were an hour long, and a few weeks ago it got cancelled/moved to TeenNick.

The show is about a group of kids living in Anubis House at a British boarding school (oddly, I don’t think the school is ever mentioned by name).  There is always at least one American, and the American always has mysterious powers (oooohhhh, aaaahhhhh) that have to do with the history of the house.  It’s all rooted in ancient Egyptian culture, but mostly it’s rooted in kids sneaking around and almost getting punished by teachers, and the fact that the world is constantly on the verge of ending if these teenagers don’t do something.

House of Anubis has that guy from the Disney Channel Pass the Plate commercial in it, Brad Kavanagh.

He plays Fabian, a sensitive guy who is really interested in ancient Egypt and knows the most about it out of his friends.  He was the co-main character in Seasons 1 and 2, but since his co-lead (American one of three) left the show, the new Americans (one new in season 3, one from season 2) are the co-main characters.  It’s the guy in the middle, Eddie, and the girl to the left of him, K.T.

These people are part of Sibuna (it’s “Anubis” spelled backwards).  They’re the group that solves the mysteries and saves the world.  Several other students live in their house, but they’re not all involved in Sibuna.  In fact, there are a couple characters (including the attractive but conniving Jerome) who have little to no knowledge of all the sneaking around that goes on in Anubis House.

Jerome is actually central to the main plot in Season 2, but otherwise he has for the most part served to provide comic relief and relationship drama.

Favorite Characters: Jerome, Eddie, K.T., Fabian (That’s like half the characters but oh well…)

The National Hockey League

Now, I’m talkin’ ice hockey.  It is my sport.  I play, I play, I play some more, and I watch the pros.

The NHL was in a lockout this year, so the season didn’t begin until January.  Normally, it starts in October… The All-Star Game and Winter Classic, two of my favorite games of the year, were cancelled, but on a brighter note, the playoffs will last long into the summer.

Should I talk about favorite teams, or favorite players?  Perhaps both?  Maybe I’ll just say something random.

For the All-Star Weekend Skills Competition’s trick shot portion, Patrick Kane, in all of his sexy glory, dressed like this:

And scored like this:

Skillzzz.

This is one of the stars of the team that broke the points-streak record this season – they went 24 games without losing in regulation time (the streak ended with a loss to the Colorado Avalanche tonight).  Plus, did I mention he’s hot?  Me and another girl at my school constantly debate over which Blackhawks star is hotter: Patrick Kane or Jonathan Toews.  I’m Team Pat.

You be the judge.

That girl and I always come together in our mutual love of the Blackhawks, but my number one favorite team is the Pittsburgh Penguins.  Sidney Crosby and Evgeni Malkin are fabulous.  The way Geno stepped up when Sid was concussed forever a year?  Freaking fantastic.

Much like Merlin and the High School Musical saga, hockey is full of bromances.

And let’s not forget about Perfectly Chiseled Features Man!

For contrast, the typical hockey player photo:

Perfectly Chiseled Features Man:

Apparently, I’m not the only person who thinks this about him:

So these were just my ramblings.  I wish I had more time to elaborate, really, each of these things deserves its own, more articulate post, but this will do for now! 😀

Sweet dreams! (Coco, I’m talking to you)

– K-Tosh


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This week’s Survivor episode was a good one! But I feel like I say that for all of them…

This week featured separate challenges for Reward and Immunity. Can you guess assume who won both? That’s right. The Favorites. At this point I’m starting to sort of pity the Fans Tribe. They just can’t get their stuff together.

The Reward Challenge was close but the Favorites got the privilege of having a local man come to their camp and teach them how to improve their preparation of food and shelter. The Favorites found him quite amusing, referring to him as “dinner and a show.” Cochran went so far as to call him “Gollum-like.” There was some truth in that.

Also at the Favorite’s Tribe, Phillip stirred up some excitement with more nicknames of his own creation for his tribe mates. The three remaining members without nicknames were Brandon, Erik, and Brenda. Brandon was dubbed “The Conquerer.” He was thrilled, at which I’m sure you could guess. Erik was nameed “The Silent One,” and Brenda “Serenity.” Check out this link – it explains “The Specialist’s” code names for the whole Favorites tribe!  Everyone gets a nickname from Phillip! It’s very amusing. Also this picture serves as a great summary:

the specialist

At the beginning of the season I was all for criticizing Phillip. I was still blinded by his horrible behavior from his first season, but now I’m finding him to be one of the reasons I come back to watch Survivor every Wednesday at 8! (Well, him and Cochran ;)) Stealth R Us is one of the most entertaining Survivor alliances I have ever seen – and I’ve been watching Survivor for 12 seasons now.

I wonder what will happen to the Favorites IF  they every have to vote someone else off? I bet it’ll be Brandon. I mean, “next time on Survivor” showed him dumping The Favorite’s rice supply in the sand and mouthing off to Phillip. It’s apparently the moment of this season you cannot miss. (!!!!!) If they don’t kill him I’m sure they’ll vote him off.

Meanwhile at the Fans Tribe, things were falling apart (per usual). Shamar was being impossible as usual, picking fights and acting miserable. Things took a turn for the worse when Shamar scratched his cornea with a grain of sand and was medically evacuated from the game. Shamar’s misery ended on Survivor and his tribe was very glad to say goodbye to his personality. They were, however, not glad to see him drop their number of tribe members from 8 to 7. Having two less people than the Favorites put them on edge and the next immunity challenge would prove crucial to their overall game play as a tribe.

The Immunity Challenge was a Survivor Classic – one at a time, tribe members had to crawl out to sea on a platform and swim to a tall structure erected above water. There, they had to climb up what seemed to be a few stories high and jump off the structure while smashing a tile suspended in air to release a key. They had to gather the key and swim it back to shore where the next person would go. Once five keys were collected, two other tribe members would use them to unlock a chest of sandbags. They were to throw the sandbags and try to knock bricks off a platform. Whichever tribe did this first won immunity and a few more guaranteed days on Survivor.

The first person to swim out for the Fans was Sherri. She quickly put her team behind when she missed smashing the tile and releasing the key on her first jump. She had to jump again- at which time the second Tribe member from the Favorites had already caught up with her. At the bag throwing portion of the challenge, the favorites had a sizable lead. Phillip was throwing for the favorites and was doing a great job, but Reynold of the Fans was right on his tail! Reynold single handed almost caught up to the Favorites. But the damage was done. Phillip hit the last block off the platform when Reynold still had five to go.

Undoubtedly devastated for having to go to a third Tribal Council in a row, the Fans questioned their original plans to vote someone off. With Shamar gone, the majority alliance had only two options for voting- Eddie or Reynold.  However, these two fit young men were crucial assets to the tribe’s performance in challenges. If the Fans wanted to win any challenges, they would have to keep Eddie and Reynold. At that point, the next obvious person to vote off was Laura -she was the weakest and didn’t perform well in challenges. Reynold was still nervous though, still thinking his head was on the chopping block. At Tribal, Reynold used his Hidden Immunity Idol, wasting it to block only one vote against him, and Laura’s torch was snuffed.

At this point in the game, there is no way the Fans can merge at 12 with a majority tribe. With at most six people, the Fans will have to convince some of the Favorites to come over to their side if they want to see the end of the game. It’s looking pretty grim for the Fans. If the Favorites play their cards right they can pick off the Fans one by one at the merge. We’ll have to see.

The game stands as thus:

.                                                             Favorites              Fans

Tribe Members                                       9                           6

Reward Challenges Won                     4                            0

Immunity Challenges Won                3                           1

Can the Fans get their stuff together? Will the Favorites fall apart next week due to Brandon’s behavior? Is anyone planning for the merge? The game is most certainly afoot and I can’t wait ’till next week!

– J. Coco